....just in case you have forgotten

He is enough. 

no measure of wrong 

no heart of stone

no depth of hurt 

no tear in the night 

no bondage to sin

no fear within

not even a stubborn will 

is beyond His hand,

His touch, 

His love.

Cuts

we cut to hurt
then we cut to heal,
we cut to explore, fix or reveal
we cut to conceal.
corners. truth. sickness. youth. ties.
we cut to survive
or just to be sure we're still alive.
we cut in an attempt to end misery,then die in it!

mirrored by a tree.

twisted bark and carved arches

life has etched it's mark on me

my roots run deep and so do my cracks

I'm standing tall, but scared I'll fall.

my shadow is a giver, my soul-a taker

I reap from the ground

only to have my fruit ripped from me.

I reach for the heights,

and must contend with nature's laws,

time, season and gravity.

strangers lean on me,

they stop to catch their breath

then move on as they please...

occasionally they'll nest for a while

if the weather so conspires

till autumn comes like clockwork

sending them off in pursuit of more

just as my leaves start to fall

leaving me out there, a lonely bared soul.

i see the smoke from fires

fueled by my brothers

and wonder what fate awaits me,

will i burn or will i rot,

will be carved into something fancy

be set on a pedestal to be shown off

polished and cherished

for the rest of my life

or maybe I'll always be simply a tree

rooted to a spot but altogether free

to embrace my constant friend -the wind,

and longingly wait for spring.

because You are here

 It looks better than it has in a while,
 I can laugh and dance,
 let the warmth in all the way inside,
 I've got faith that  if seek i'll find,
 I 'm not afraid of making mistakes,
 I know You'll provide me with a way out
 You wont let me run too far,
and when I think I have-You'll come find me
Yours is a love that knows no bounds
 mine - a heart that's thawed.

"Dont ever die"

…..these words from a TV series keep running through my head. This was someone’s way of telling another that they needed them alive, In spite of everything- and nothing. Human beings have a way of losing sight of what  is  really important until it slips right out from under them. Then denial, confusion and regret set in and before we know it we can no longer separate ourselves from the wretched thing that we call our lives. We can try and fix it as best we know how, but it never really is completely restored. All around us are broken and patched up people busying themselves with moving on. I can tell because I am one of them. Maybe you are too…or not. Either way, do find a way to let people you care when you still can. As scary as it sounds to be putting yourself out there, it’s a lot less painful than wondering what could have been if only.....

whatever helps you sleep at night.

 and so I run from the truth even as it stares me right in the face. I compromise, make excuses , stretch boundaries, take back my own words... anything to help me  feel better about missing the mark. Perhaps having lived a lie for so long I may be able to turn it into reality. I look at the world through rose tinted glasses hoping that the good I continually  fail to find in myself  is somewhere in somebody else. There has got to be somebody out there who  has got it together, right? and even though  nobody's perfect.....some people seem to come pretty close. I like to think that there is a trace of beauty in their flaws.  That's why I shouldnt lose hope...I should dig deep and try to find the gem within.....even if this means sorting through so much junk.  it'll pay off in the end. Yeah. Sure.

Rain?!?

Rain has always had an equivocal effect on me, threatening and soothing in the same breath. Unbridled passions and  the unaffected parts of me that I dare not show (even to self)  are inspired by the gushing rain...suddenly they are free to run unashamedly through my mind. The drops falling from their high places are like thoughts and feelings that are finally being released, allowed to run their course and find their destinies. Some bind themselves to something greater and gain momentum as they go. Others destroy what ever is standing in their way only to meet  a similar fate or be abandoned. Like all torrents, they eventually wane. Whatever makes it through is left awakened and refreshed . The lingering sadness over what has  been lost is intertwined with the excitement of the new. Nature though often unclear does give birth to clarity. The cold on the outside compels us to deal with the cold within.