Monday, May 11, 2009

letter to my little sister.....

I often think about you. it's hard knowing that you are out there somewhere, sometimes needing me but surviving without, perhaps wanting to have nothing to do with me becuase it's less painful that way. or maybe be that's just the way we were raised -to close our eyes to what's right in front of us, respect the wishes of those older and wiser even when we know that it simply postpones the reality of having to deal with situations till later. I imagine you are fine. making do with what life has alloted you and finding joy in the little things. I know you miss daddy . I did too. I missed him so bad I made up this crazy place in my head in which he could do no wrong. I pictured happy reunions and glorious happy ever-afters every night before i went to sleep. That's what love does when forced apart. It magnifies the good and glosses over the bad. Still ,it's such imagination that helped me make it through.I see him as often as i want now. But there is no getting back the time we've lost. Only comfort is that his actions were in love and there is no way I can hold that against him...and I hope that you don't either. There is so much I want to share with you....Your life is a lot bigger than you know, school is hard but it pays off, boys come and go, smart girls know when it's time to let go, life is scary place but you can make it if you take time to pray. i'd love so much to be for you everything that I needed when I was your age. yet all I can do is hope that your in safe hands and that you'll turn out alright. I hope you know deep down that someone somewhere loves you and believes in you. ..Just like real sisters do.